Would You Talk to Your Friend That Way?

January 18, 2017

 

"You're so stupid!"

"You should have known that was going to happen..."

"Why do you even try?"

 

Sound familiar? Probably not. Change the "you" to "I" and then tell me if it sounds more familiar. We often don't realize how we talk to ourselves on a day to day basis because it becomes habit. If there has ever been a time when you're not feeling very happy and you aren't sure why, I want you to pay attention to the way you are talking to yourself. Poor self-talk can affect your mood, confidence, and overall motivation. Are you being kind to yourself, or are you being nasty? Would you talk to your friend that way? I'm guessing you would never tell your friend that they are stupid for making a small mistake on an assignment for school or a project at work, and that you don't want to talk to them anymore because of that mistake. On the other hand, it's really easy to tell ourselves we are stupid for making a mistake and that certain people don't want to hang out with us anymore because of that mistake. Next time you notice that you aren't being kind to yourself, try asking yourself what you would tell your friend if they were telling you what you're telling yourself. If that is different from what you were originally telling yourself, and you found it incredibly difficult to be kind to yourself, it might be time to ask for help. If you can't speak to yourself with the same respect you speak to your friends with, are you truly happy? If the answer is no, please talk to a friend about it, read a self-help book, or look into seeing a therapist or a coach. You deserve to be happy. It's okay to ask for help. 

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